See how my bagels are already in a bag? Yeah… I don’t need a bag!
“Do you need a bag for that?” asked the clerk.
“For what?” I responded. “For the peaches that are already in bag? No, thanks… IDNAB!”
If you can believe it, the girl at Targét actually tried to put Paul Newman in a bag. I know what you’re thinking – how dare she! But worry not, fellow IDNABers, for I slapped her right in the face.
They won’t be seeing me around that Cool Hand Luke-hatin’ establishment anymore, no siree.
No, I don’t need a bag for my coffee, Ms. Targét Lady, but thanks for asking. Thankfully the coffee is already in a bag. If it wasn’t, I would mos def need a bag and I would say, “INAB!”
I put my iced tea and breakfast sandwich on the counter. The 7-Eleven Guy reaches for a bag. Our eyes meet. There is suspense.
“IDNAB,” I say.
“Trash bag,” 7-Eleven Guy says.
“Still, IDNAB,” I say.
“Trash bag,” 7-Eleven Guy says again.
I’m so stunned that I have no come-back. IDNAB did not work on this man. I wasn’t ready for such resolve at 8 am. His two words, said twice, had left me broken and beaten.
I will be ready next time.
You may have won the battle, 7-Eleven Guy, but the war is not over.
We shall meet again!
Come on, Bag Lady, put two and two together. I’m getting the double sided tape because I’m going to tape the milk and rolls to my body. So I won’t have to carry them. Duh.
Sorry about the missing jerky, IDNABers. I got hungry on the way home.
There’s only one kind of coke that needs a bag. This is not that kind. IDNAB!
Ok, so the handle isn’t big enough for all of my fingers. Still… IDNAB!
Both on and off the course, the great Arnold Palmer was known to say, “IDNAB!”
A complete list of the things standing between me and refreshment:
1. A bag